Because you are six months old you have no idea who your parents are. As you grow up, you’ll turn one of the two ways.
1) You’ll spend the rest of your life wishing and praying fervently to god (yes, you will believe, because your mother will make sure) to give you a set of parents that are normal. My advice is don’t wish too much for it. To your regret and utter disappointment it just might come true.
2)Or you’ll strut around so bloody proud of your parents, of yourself and of the values that you’ve been given, that you’ll probably live with them for the rest of their lives. In which case, I’ll personally chase you out when you are 21.
Let me tell you a little about your father.
He is living proof of the fact that you can undo what parents do to you and become someone you want to be. So, if it ever happens that you think your parents screwed you up, please think again or I’ll slap some sense into you.
Your father has a generous heart, a kind soul and on the days you think he is cruel, you will be bang on. He believes, sometimes, you need to be cruel to be kind. Trust him, whatever he’s doing he’s doing because he sees the outcome; because he has mastered his ego and inherent pettiness that human beings possess and has applied reason.
If you ever find yourself in a position where you feel you can’t talk to someone, force yourself to go to him. He will listen to you, without judgement. At least apparent judgement. He will listen to you, try and understand you and then tell you that you’re a complete idiot if that’s what you’ve been. But if you haven’t been an ass, he’ll fight with you for you till his last breath.
Believe every word he utters in seriousness. He never ever says anything he doesn’t mean. And laugh at yourself when he cracks jokes at you. Nothing is above a good joke, for him, thank God.
I am pretty sure your dad doesn’t see people as men or women, first. He sees them as friends if they are that. Both get his respect if they deserve it. And his coolness when they don’t. Similarly, age, position in life, money, are not reasons for him to respect others. And having any less of those are no reasons for him to excuse anything they’ve done.
Your father is mostly crazy. But he is also one of the strongest men I know. Lean on him. And when he’s old and cranky and I am not around to tell him what a nutter he is, lend him your shoulder.
And what do I say about your mother?
I think she was born a mother. I have never seen a woman who lights up like she does. And I don’t mean she smokes. A phone call from someone who mattered, a drink, a film, a photograph, a candle, a pair of earrings — anything can make this gorgeous woman blaze like a brilliant summer sun.
When you grow up and tell her to stop being a child, you won’t be wrong. Because that’s something she doesn’t know she is, thank god. There is so much of the child in her and as you grow older and meet more people you’ll know how important it is to retain that. And you’ll love your mum for it.
If you ever suspect, and I challenge you that you won’t, that she’s digging her heels in and not going to budge, you’re probably right. You’ll never see her being stubborn; she has a very quiet way of doing that. But when she does, you can threaten to main yourself and gouge your eyes out with an icecream scoop and the only thing that will happen is you, er, being maim and blind.
Remember to get her gifts, especially the ones you make. She’s such a sentimentalist. But try and push her around and you’ll have to come to my place to spend the night because she will ask you to sleep on the verandah.
She’s the kindest, softest friend I have and if you turn out to be a good egg, believe me it will so much her doing.
This letter is to the lovely boy who just added to an already love family that I spoke about in this post.